Pinball Excuses

When you have a terrible game of pinball, you had better get your excuse ready, because someone will ask you why you just sucked so badly. Do you have a disgraceful pinball excuse that you have used to explain away your suckage?

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Top Whatever Reasons Why I Just Sucked at this Pinball Game (in no particular order)
  1. Out of beer
  2. Hovering
  3. Crowded
  4. Earthquake
  5. Gravity
  6. Dragonfly
  7. Lightning
  8. Luckbox
  9. New Balls Needed
  10. The Lag
  11. This game failed to act as I thought it should.
  12. I kind of blacked out as I flipped. (Roger S. – C2CP: Ep 182)
  13. I had a minor stroke. (Roger S. – C2CP: Ep 182)
  14. I thought the game was resetting, so I didn’t bother to flip. (Scott C.)
  15. The slingshot didn’t fire! (Raymond D.)
  16. The leg bolts aren’t tight enough. (Adam L.)
  17. The rotating disco ball colored light glared in my eyes just as I was about to flip. (Adam L.)
  18. The DJ MAX Technica and Beatmania machines were just too damn loud!
  19. I was too tired to slide the game anymore (on a game that stopped giving tilt warnings).
  20. These flipper rubbers aren’t regulation. (Sanjay S.)
  21. It must be quantum mechanics… the ball went through the flipper! (Josh L.)
  22. Someone blocked the ceiling light and caused an eclipse! (Kevin S.)
  23. I’m tripping right now and I’m just concentrating on which way is up, not what flipper to hit. (Peace N. M.)
  24. The game is not level
  25. The flashing lights blinded me.
  26. The ball turned invisible.
  27. The playfield is too clean.
  28. The playfield is too dirty.
  29. Mirror Balls
  30. The game tilted by itself! – This one is heard usually after a game has been Scottified.
  31. The flippers are too strong.
  32. The flippers are too weak.
  33. The tilt is too tight
  34. The game is too dark.
  35. I can’t see because the GI is out.
  36. I’m still learning this game.
  37. The rules for this game keep changing.
  38. The incline on the game is too steep.
  39. The ball bounces so randomly.
  40. This game has no flow to it.
  41. The ball hopped the flipper.
  42. I only play EMs.
  43. I only play DMDs.
  44. I don’t play new Stern games.
  45. I only play new Stern games.
  46. This thing’s a piece of shit! (regardless of game condition)
  47. The glare from the DMD blinded me.
  48. My cell phone rang.
  49. The guy next to me shit his pants and the stink got to me.
  50. The drop targets reset with the ball sitting on top of them, and it went sailing over the flippers.
  51. Voltage drop
  52. Voltage spike
  53. I lost my ball in the glare of the overhead lights.
  54. The secret magnets under the playfield flung my ball out to the side drain.
  55. The ball save wasn’t long enough.
  56. The pitch/slope is way off.
  57. This game is only set to 3 ball? No wonder!
  58. The lighting is bad.
  59. The floor is slippery.
  60. It’s a Stern.
  61. It’s a Williams
  62. There are no Pinfooties on it
  63. There are Pinfooties on it.
  64. This game doesn’t play as good as mine.
  65. This game must be a re-import.
  66. Oops, I thought this game had magna save.
  67. Multiballs are for wussies.
  68. Ball save rools!
  69. Funny ball spin
  70. I’m really a video gamer
  71. I can’t play when others are watching.
  72. I was too drunk.
  73. Wow! I thought it already drained.
  74. The flippers are causing air balls.
  75. The player next to me didn’t bathe.
  76. The player next to me used too much cologne.
  77. The player next to me bumped my hand.
  78. A target isn’t registering.
  79. I don’t have my proper orthopedic shoes.
  80. I was too busy trying to show off playing one handed.
  81. My assigned team mate threw the game.
  82. The software is not finished.
  83. These rubbers are worn out.
  84. The balls are magnetized.
  85. Bad flipper switches.
  86. These slingshots are crazy.
  87. These flippers are lazy.
  88. The flippers on these (insert any company other than Williams) machines suck.
  89. The kickback didn’t kick!
  90. The uneven inserts changed the ball path.
  91. I wanted my beer more.
  92. That ball sucked anyway.
  93. Who fixed the magnets?
  94. That never happened before.
  95. I play better when drunk.
  96. I wasn’t drunk enough.
  97. Is that ball regulation size, or what?
  98. I am used to playing with zipper flippers.
  99. I meant to do that!
  100. These rubbers must be very old.
  101. I was just showing my friend the meaning of SDTM.
  102. Doctor’s orders.  So my carpel tunnel doesn’t act up.
  103. I didn’t want to overheat the coils.
  104. The voices in my head are a bit distracting sometimes.
  105. Whoever set this machine up must have used a broken level.
  106. I thought it only fair that someone else gets a turn.
  107. New rubbers, too much bounce.
  108. Black Rubbers, not enough bounce.
  109. A gnat flew into my eye.
  110. My eyes itched.
  111. It’s too loud in the arcade.
  112. There are too many people surrounding me.
  113. Someone was in my line of vision.
  114. Someone was in my peripheral vision.
  115. I’m stuck on a mode and I can’t get out.
  116. The shiny balls blinded me for a second.
  117. The person next to me goosed me.
  118. There was a hot girl/guy 2 games over.
  119. I caught my pocket on the plunger.
  120. I’m color blind.
  121. Flashing lights make me dizzy.
  122. The playfield wear is excessive.
  123. The coin door opened by itself.
  124. I think the pinball isn’t round anymore.
  125. The playfield needs to be waxed.
  126. The rubbers are too dirty.
  127. One flipper is lazy while the other is too strong.
  128. This game doesn’t like me!
  129. This game has it in for me!
  130. I can’t hear the game’s sounds. They’re important!
  131. The flippers are misaligned.
  132. The outlanes are oversized.
  133. I hit the button, but it didn’t flip.
  134. This game needs to be shopped.
  135. Physics hates me!
  136. Superbands.