When you have a terrible game of pinball, you had better get your excuse ready, because someone will ask you why you just sucked so badly. Do you have a disgraceful pinball excuse that you have used to explain away your suckage?
Please post on the Facebook group, and thanks for your contribution.
Top Whatever Reasons Why I Just Sucked at this Pinball Game (in no particular order)
- Out of beer
- Hovering
- Crowded
- Earthquake
- Gravity
- Dragonfly
- Lightning
- Luckbox
- New Balls Needed
- The Lag
- This machine failed to act as I thought it should.
- I hit the buck two times really quickly, and it caused the machine to TILT. (Head 2 Head Pinball – Episode 44)
- The game has beta code on it.
- I kind of blacked out as I flipped. (Roger S. – C2CP: Ep 182)
- I had a minor stroke. (Roger S. – C2CP: Ep 182)
- I thought the game was resetting, so I didn’t bother to flip. (Scott C.)
- The slingshot didn’t fire! (Raymond D.)
- The leg bolts aren’t tight enough. (Adam L.)
- The rotating disco ball colored light glared in my eyes just as I was about to flip. (Adam L.)
- The DJ MAX Technica and Beatmania machines were just too freaking loud!
- I was too tired to slide the game anymore (on a game that stopped giving tilt warnings).
- These flipper rubbers aren’t regulation. (Sanjay S.)
- It must be quantum mechanics… the ball went through the flipper! (Josh L.)
- Someone blocked the ceiling light and caused an eclipse! (Kevin S.)
- I’m tripping right now and I’m just concentrating on which way is up, not what flipper to hit. (Peace N. M.)
- The game is not level
- The flashing lights blinded me.
- The ball turned invisible.
- The playfield is too clean.
- The playfield is too dirty.
- Mirror Balls
- The game tilted by itself! – This one is heard usually after a game has been Scottified.
- The flippers are too strong.
- The flippers are too weak.
- The tilt is too tight
- The game is too dark.
- I can’t see because the GI is out.
- I’m still learning this game.
- The rules for this game keep changing.
- The incline on the game is too steep.
- The ball bounces so randomly.
- This game has no flow to it.
- The ball hopped the flipper.
- I only play EMs.
- I only play DMDs.
- I don’t play new Stern games.
- I only play new Stern games.
- This thing’s a piece of garbage! (regardless of game condition)
- The glare from the DMD blinded me.
- My cell phone rang.
- The guy next to me crapped his pants and the stink got to me.
- The drop targets reset with the ball sitting on top of them, and it went sailing over the flippers.
- Voltage drop
- Voltage spike
- I lost my ball in the glare of the overhead lights.
- The secret magnets under the playfield flung my ball out to the side drain.
- The ball save wasn’t long enough.
- The pitch/slope is way off.
- This game is only set to 3 balls? No wonder!
- The lighting is bad.
- The floor is slippery.
- It’s a Stern.
- It’s a Williams
- There are no Pinfooties on it
- There are Pinfooties on it.
- This game doesn’t play as well as mine.
- This game must be a re-import.
- Oops, I thought this game had Magnasave.
- Multiballs are for wussies.
- Ball save rools!
- Funny ball spin
- I’m really a video gamer
- I can’t play when others are watching.
- I was too drunk.
- Wow! I thought it already drained.
- The flippers are causing air balls.
- The player next to me didn’t bathe.
- The player next to me used too much cologne.
- The player next to me bumped my hand.
- A target isn’t registering.
- I don’t have my proper orthopedic shoes.
- I was too busy trying to show off playing one-handed.
- My assigned teammate threw the game.
- The software is not finished.
- These rubbers are worn out.
- The balls are magnetized.
- Bad flipper switches.
- These slingshots are crazy.
- These flippers are lazy.
- The flippers on these (insert any company other than Williams) machines suck.
- The kickback didn’t kick!
- The uneven inserts changed the ball path.
- I wanted my beer more.
- That ball sucked anyway.
- Who fixed the magnets?
- That never happened before.
- I play better when drunk.
- I wasn’t drunk enough.
- Is that ball regulation size, or what?
- I am used to playing with zipper flippers.
- I meant to do that!
- These rubbers must be very old.
- I was just showing my friend the meaning of SDTM.
- Doctor’s orders. So my carpal tunnel doesn’t act up.
- I didn’t want to overheat the coils.
- The voices in my head are a bit distracting sometimes.
- Whoever set this machine up must have used a broken level.
- I thought it only fair that someone else gets a turn.
- New rubbers, too much bounce.
- Black Rubbers, not enough bounce.
- A gnat flew into my eye.
- My eyes itched.
- It’s too loud in the arcade.
- There are too many people surrounding me.
- Someone was in my line of vision.
- Someone was in my peripheral vision.
- I’m stuck on a mode and I can’t get out.
- The shiny balls blinded me for a second.
- The person next to me goosed me.
- There was someone hot 2 games over.
- I caught my pocket on the plunger.
- I’m color blind.
- Flashing lights make me dizzy.
- The playfield wear is excessive.
- The coin door opened by itself.
- I think the pinball isn’t round anymore.
- The playfield needs to be waxed.
- The rubbers are too dirty.
- One flipper is lazy while the other is too strong.
- This game doesn’t like me!
- This game has it in for me!
- I can’t hear the game’s sounds. They’re important!
- The flippers are misaligned.
- The outlanes are oversized.
- I hit the button, but it didn’t flip.
- This game needs to be shopped.
- Physics hates me!
- Superbands.